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And to go back to Pat Allen for a bit, I’d add this: a feminine energy woman is supposed to be loved for who she is, not expected to be expressed by what she “does” (that is how masculine energy is expressed).

If the rationale for a woman not working is that she is saving the husband money on childcare and cleaning etc, then that is not him really giving to her then, is it? She may choose to give these things if that is healing (and for many women the domestic stuff really is healing), but when it comes down to it I think the real test of cherishing comes in when he is actually providing and protecting whether it “saves him money” and the like or not. Otherwise deep down she is still being expected to be the male-giving energy like he is, there is no true cherishment of her.

Myers Briggs stuff is great, and an easy online test is at here and another here.
You can take the longer professional version of the test too, they tend to give them at colleges and such for a small fee, but I find the short ones tested just as accurate for me (I’ve taken both the long and short).

I still want to respond about the uppityness stuff, but that will need to be a bit later.


I agree that these are scary times, but to me the scary part is our LACK of faith, not the reverse. To me one’s spirituality is not optional icing but rather at the very center of lives. To divorce taken in hand dynamics from one’s spirituality makes absolutely zero sense to me, I think it would leave one with the emptiness I see in approaches like BDSM. I’m not saying there are not spiritual people in that area, but from where I am standing BDSM certainly does all it can to discourage the deeper things like spirituality and the sacredness of gender archetypes and the centralness of duty and commitment. And, like you experienced, it further objectifies with the all too typical “dom” dynamics found there. I think your non-cherishing experience probably speaks for many many others.