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The Endurance of Courtship
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The Fight of Your Life

This article rings surprisingly true. Some time near the end last spring I figured out that the only way to get a girl to date you is to hook up with her first. I immediately tried this strategy on the girl I was courting at the time, and it would have worked if not for my roommate at the time intentionally cock blocking me and then another guy beating me to the punch (sleeping with her first).

After all this went down I heard from another girl, who I hadn’t spoken to in 52 days (she counted), who I had hooked up with at that time (though she, unfortunately, had a boyfriend). She’d been pining over me for that whole time and her relationship with that same boyfriend was ending (though it took a few more weeks for them to actually break up). She then came to visit me 3 times over the course of the summer and we hooked up again all of those times. When she came to visit the 4th time I asked her out and we’ve been happily dating ever since. I have never been on a date with her that was planned as such, though we’ve been on several outings that were basically dates.

This is so different from my previous strategy (escalating dates along side escalating sexual intimacy) that it still surprises me how easy it was. By the time we were speaking again I basically had her in the bag.

Take from this what you will, but acting like an asshole (hooking up with another guy’s girlfriend) has done more for my LTR search than all my previous dating attempts combined. The best part is that now that we’re dating I can let out my inner nice guy and be as sweet as I’ve always wanted to with someone who actually appreciates it. I can honestly say I that cannot remember a time in my life in which I was happier.

  • 44 Isabel October 22, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Well, I don’t mean to be too harsh on the guy. I never said he was a horrible person, but he does sound quite immature. I’m only 3 years older than the girl in the story, and I feel like I’m from an entirely different generation. My husband is the same age as me, and 3 years ago when we first met, he sounded so much more mature than him.

I was also responding to SayWhaat ’s post about how girls like that are ruining “good guys” and screwing up her chances. The girls in my husband’s past who treated him badly didn’t “ruin” him. He appreciates me a lot because I’m way ahead of the female competition.

Well, you sorta did by implying that he is shallow, immature and chases shiny, STD-ridden rocks at the expense of good girls/future wife. Out of the two people involved, he probably isn’t the villain here. Though I do agree with your second point. I don’t see the logic of courting an entitled, flakey drunkard for a while and then projecting her qualities onto the rest of us when entitled, flakey drunkard turns out to be — shock horror — ENTITLED AND FLAKEY.