The essence of femininity
The Summertime Femininity Challenge
Wanting Closure
Winning With a Hard-to-Get Strategy
Giving Hookup Culture a Makeover
Be All the Things You Want In a Partner
Sleeping around
Office Romances Frequently Lead to Marriage

The short answer to several of your questions is yes. Yes it is true that sorority girls won’t go to scheduled mixers with the “nerd” frats. Yes it’s a negative label. Yes each guy in the frat is labeled regardless of his individual nerdiness.

The Greek system is not fair: it’s not fair to the people who fall under the popular labels or the not-so-popular labels. Labels just aren’t fair, because once a person is labeled, they are forever expected to act a certain way. A “preppy” girl can’t wear sweats to class or people will wonder what happened to her last night. A nerdy girl can’t wear makeup, or people wonder if she’s trying to suck up to the popular crowd. At the very least, they make comments to or about her.

This is sort of a silly example, but in middle school I refused to wear my hair down, because once I started wearing it in a ponytail every day, people assumed I was the type of girl to wear her hair in a ponytail everyday. The day I changed my look, people noticed. And I didn’t want them to, I just wanted them to like me for who I was.

And, since I don’t want and never have wanted to be labeled, it certainly isn’t fair for me to label others. This is something I think everyone should work on.

The hardest part (feel free to call me crazy for saying this) is not labeling the Greek system. It’s very hard to not do this, because hell, they’re some of the primary actors in the labeling business. But in labeling “sorority girls” and “frat guys,” we are doing exactly what they’ve been doing, we’re just flipping the labeler-labeled roles. I’m still coming to terms with this notion, and it certainly goes against my gut instinct.

lege hart says:
November 4, 2011 at 6:09 pm
I have not given up, it’s just far too early. And I won’t as long as there are generally chaste girls. I think too many guys in modern society listened to their mothers and this is what happened.

What I see from this is guys giving up, but in addition some ‘quality’ guys are bent on becoming a player in the pua sense. Hell, if you’re smart then you can probably learn how to do it, human beings aren’t complicated. And repeat until confidence outweighs fear. It’s that easy.